Parenting Magic 8 Ball

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I’m definitely not teacher material but I was born loving children and truly enjoyed being a busy and well-paid babysitter, nanny and auntie in my younger years. I wanted my own children from the time I was twenty and after a long and rocky journey, I’m lucky and blessed enough to have three of my own.

But as much as I cherish being a mother, I’ve always had this feeling I’d be challenged by being a momma of school-aged kids in a big way. You see, I’m a do-er. I like making things work, making things better, making things right. And with younger ones-- there seems to be solid ways of doing things “right.” Babies? They’re exhausting, but love them, feed them, burp them, care for them and see that they’re hitting those milestones and you get the feeling you’re on a positive parenting track. Toddlers and pre-schoolers? I could just eat them right up-- they love to learn, explore, snuggle, laugh, and sing. They’re also exhausting little buggers but through all the tantrums, potty training and general kid-induced mess I still felt like it was pretty clear how to parent them.

But now, I’m more than knee-deep in the job of mothering school-aged kids and it’s hard to know what’s “right.” These little people who dominate my home make me wonder each day if I’m doing this parenting thing even close to right.

Do they have enough friends? Are they working hard enough in school? Are they watching too much TV, playing too much Xbox, listening to too much inappropriate music? Should I ban Eminem from their play lists? Should I be tougher with them about their schoolwork? Are they too wrapped up in sports? Do they have enough empathy? How much should we be talking about terrible news we see on TV? How bad is it that we’re hardly getting to church these days? Should I be buying more organic food? And just who are all these kids on their Instagram accounts using seriously foul language and already posting lyrics about crushes, break-ups and broken hearts?

I often feel like I have waaaay more questions than answers.

One of my current parenting dilemmas is with my sweet little girl who wants to spend almost all her time with her twin brother and friends who are boys. This is no earth-shattering problem but I get this feeling it’s an issue I need to be delicate with. She knows I’m a bit worried about this situation and was stressed to tell me yesterday that now that they can finally go outdoors at recess she plans on playing football with the boys. I felt terrible she was feeling self-conscious about this choice. It’s obvious she’s in tune with my concerns about her social well-being.

Some days I sure wish I had a parenting Magic 8 Ball to give me the answers I crave about how to make sure I'm raising my children “right.” Friends and family are supportive and of course there are thousands of books I can turn to and oodles online of parenting advice. But most of the time I’m just too busy with life to do the research-- I'm just flying by the seat of my mom-jeans (but non-elastic mom jeans btw!). I suppose that’s what most of us parents are doing… right?

This morning I noted that my daughter was in full athletic wear for school today-- track pants, t-shirt, hoodie. “Are you planning on playing football at recess today hon?” I asked as she gave me my goodbye hug. “Yes,” she replied as she pulled away and cast her eyes down. “You go get ‘em,” I told her. And as she gave me a smile that could power up this whole town’s electrical grid, I thought to myself that for today at least, I’d done at least one parenting thing “right.”