It's Official!

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Ok-- now I've really gone and done it. I took the plunge and published my own website today. Phew!  

Creating a site really takes a lot of hard work, concentrated time, thought and effort. Of course I knew this intellectually but emotionally I didn't think I'd feel this nervous about "putting out my own shingle." I've been working for myself for about ten months now, but launching the site really makes things "official."

Thank you to everyone who has given ideas for the site and who have supported my professional efforts to date. 

And thank you a million times over to DJ Long for all the long hours you put into njkmarketing.com. So. Very. Appreciated!

Let me know what you think of it when you have a moment... ciao for now!

42 Skidoo

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Today is my birthday.  42 Skidoo! Hmmm… it just doesn’t have the same ring to it as 22 Skidoo, which to give credit where credit is due is actually a phrase my oldest sister made up when she was 22 years old.

22 was a special time in my life-- I believe I even savored it when I was in it. I was living on my own in the city, making new friends and making my way. I was discovering my career and discovering myself. I was broke, but not in debt. I was seriously dating, but not married. I was young but not a kid anymore. 

Some days I still feel like I’m 22, other days I feel my real age and then some. I’ve been doing a bit of self-reflection over the last few weeks and I've even taken (wasted) the time to dish out my major middle-age complaints to my sisters and best friends (you know the ones-- too much grey hair, ugh to my ever-expanding waistline, the feeling of shock when I look in the mirror or see my photo).

But now, I’m turning the corner and I’ve decided I’m going with the attitude of “Yes, I’m getting older, good for me. It sure beats the alternative.” I doubt I’ll be the type who embraces every wrinkle and age spot (or kinky white hair!) but as time marches on I’m not going to pretend to be younger than I am or ashamed of aging. That’s just a disservice to myself and all the “old” folks in my life.

This past 12 months have been quite interesting for me and my husband. We’ve experienced some very typical middle-age challenges with job issues and health concerns.  We’ve had the chance to make changes in our life together and I am alternately thrilled and freaked out about just how swiftly our world can be rocked while simultaneously our responsibilities keep growing.

When I was 22, I think I would’ve recognized and happily accepted my 42 year-old self and not be too surprised at where I am and what I’m doing right now. But I know for sure she wouldn’t have any inkling of what it took to get here.

As I age I like acknowledging the things I really love, even trivial things. One of those things I love doing is making lists. No one can do it like one of my journalistic idols, Chicago Tribune’s Mary Schmich, or "The Happiness Project's" Gretchen Rubin, but for fun here’s a few things I’ve learned over the last 20 years.

·         Career changes happen for a reason. Look at them positively and move forward.

·         If you have them and you can possibly do it, love and cherish your parents and siblings when they are with you here on earth.

·         Always back-up your computer. Yes we have the Cloud and technology gets better every year, but why chance it?

·         Reading makes life better.

·         Capture life’s moments in real time, not taking pictures you may not have time to sort/organize/review later.

·         If all feels hopeless, get some sleep. Immediately.

·         Coffee is the be-all, end-all elixir when it comes to productivity or coping with 3-7PM during young motherhood.

·         Friends can be just as important as family. Never worry about this and always be open to making new ones.

·         Keep riding your bike. It’s a life-long exercise that delivers freedom and happiness.

·         Be authentic at work, it makes it so much more bearable and less complicated.

·         If I am healthy and my family is healthy, I am truly blessed.

Enjoy your day today. I know I am bound and determined to do the same.

Spring Fever

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I've been an extremely busy bee the last few weeks. I've been working closely with the energized new executive board of the DYC; celebrating family member birthdays; hosting my fantastic bookclub (hi ladies!); checking out a boxing fitness class (yes, I know nuts!) and importantly-- starting some very exciting projects with a few new clients. One of those is writing about health issues for a booming company called Chiro One Wellness Centers.

I've been digging into all types of health-related conditions and my close friends and family think I'm perfectly suited for this work because they like to call me a "cyberchondriac." To explain, for the last many years I have always been one to spend hours researching health issues and concerns on websites like WebMD for myself and family members. It all started when I was trying to get pregnant for the first time about 13 years ago. It continued when I was on several months of  bed rest, pregnant with twins. You can't blame me there, can you?

There was certainly some good information online about health issues at that time, but nothing compared to the wealth of information that's available today. But of course too much information, especially out of context can be a bad thing. As a veteran cyberchondriac I caution you to concentrate more on positive health research and not to dwell on all the scary stuff that's out there. When you're seriously worried about a health issue the only route is to pick up the phone and call your doctor and a close friend or family member to talk it through.

Spring is upon us (I can tell by our backyard ice rink, which is turning into a moldy pond) and this means a lot more outdoor time for those of us who've been living with snow and winter weather. Its the perfect time to get more proactive about our health. I for one can't wait to hear the crack of the bats at little league; take Louie on long walks and join my family on some bike rides. I hope you'll be doing similar things soon too. Good health is an ultimate, precious gift.

Bounce Back

Why is it, when no one is around and you fall down supremely hard -- it feels so good to just lay there for a minute or two and really soak in the trauma your body just took? This frigid winter morning I have been pondering this exact question after slipping, falling and wacking multiple body parts while on skates, shoveling our outdoor ice rink. (Ah, who said self-employment doesn't have perks?) Is feeling sorry for one's self a natural human condition that some are more apt to feel than others? Is it truly one of those natural reflexes that is almost impossible to avoid?

I tend to believe it is, but the greatest people, athletes, thinkers and business leaders of the world definitely have above average bounce-back reflexes. When these entities stumble, they may lie still for a minute but then they quickly get up off the cold, hard ground; dust themselves off and adapt, grow, innovate or disrupt the situation they are in. I recently read about a few great examples-- one is no surprise, the little engine that could called Yahoo but the other is an organization I hadn't really thought of as a disruptor before-- the Library. http://blog.mindjet.com/2013/01/disruption-in-2013/

The business of life is as unpredictable, rough and slippery as a backyard, amateur ice rink. But it can also be serene, enjoyable or exhilarating. It depends on the day, the others skating on the ice with you and of course the elements that are out of your control. But as much as I am enjoying this metaphor today-- time to get back to work (with a mug of hot chocolate.)

The Power of "Fresh Blood"

Never underestimate the power of "fresh blood."  I have been experiencing this first hand in more ways than one recently but the example that I'll talk about here is a community organization I do pro bono work for and power of the people who work hard for it.  

For the last few years in this group, volunteerism was low, members were frustrated or apathetic and the group had gained a reputation of being unorganized and a bit of a black hole. Enter stage left just a few fresh faces to the monthly Board Meetings last fall and things started to change. The change has been swift and impactful. The new people made some noise-- they asked a lot of questions, queried why things were done they way there were and brought in ideas to reinvent. Granted all the new ideas weren't winners but debate, action and new work has started to occur. Luckily this "fresh blood" didn't die off and kept coming back month after month and toiled on projects in-between meetings-- so much so that the leadership just had to stop saying "we've tried that before" and "we can't afford to do that."

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the people who had been running this group should be commended for the countless hours of thought, angst, caring and work they have put in over the years. But they also had made it known they were at the point of burnout and ready to spend their time elsewhere. I don't think they expected for change to happen as quickly as it has, but that can be the power of new.

You don't need to be at "burn-out" level by any means to benefit from new.  Perhaps you think everything is just fine when you look at the surface but to achieve greatly you also need to look deep within. If by any chance you feel like your business, club or organization is at cross-road, or if you take a close look and see that the same strategies, tactics, ideas are being recycled year after year-- maybe it's time for some fresh blood. Hire a consultant, writer, designer, motivational speaker or masseuse to come into the office and shake things up a bit. Yes, these things may not be in your budget but perhaps you can cut elsewhere to find the money for an investment in the new.  Testing out some fresh blood just might be what your company needs to thrive. 

Come Together?

I am trying to listen to the universe and my own thoughts more lately.  I know that sounds really Oprah-y but she really drove this message into my brain more than any other influencer of my generation. When fate, the universe, God or whatever you want to call it shows you something-- really listen to it, believe it.  

One of the things I am listening for and trying to learn more about is a really big question. It's the "who am I?" question. Because honestly I am starting to think I've been living life more like 2 or 3 people instead of one. And hey now-- that's just not efficient.  It's also rather exhausting some days.  I am realizing during this search for new work that I need to pay attention to all my different facets. I am finally starting to figure out that the key to more life fulfillment just may lie in bringing these facets together more. 

What I can't figure out is just how far I should take this idea. I know intellectually that complete work/life integration is definitely not necessary.  There are millions of successful people out there who take great care to separate their work lives from their personal lives from their spiritual lives. They do this because they have to or they want to, or both. But I bet they have made their decisions with intention, they haven't just muddled along trying to juggle these different portions of their lives indiscriminately.  There just isn't enough time in the day, the week, the month or the year to do it without making deliberate decisions and sticking with them.

The people whom I like to read and know and learn from on a regular basis seem to bring a lot of their "stuff" all together. Their political views, their altruism, their client successes, their kids' triumphs, their worries and their opinions. People like Glennon Melton Doyle at www.momastery.com, writer and old classmate Molly Logan Anderson www.grabthegood.com;  social media guru/futurist Geoffrey Colon https://twitter.com/djgeoffe and my former workmate and friend Jason Burnham http://www.digitalsphinx.com. These people aren't celebrities--- they don't need to build public personas to make a living.  They are writers, thinkers, learners, travelers, business people, friends, parents, children.

Hmmm, sounds a lot like how I might describe myself. The past few weeks I have been giving myself time to clear my head (it's an overused figure of speech but apt.) After 10 years of juggling just about everything life could throw at me (close family member deaths, childbirth and child raising, very challenging work, marriage, health scares, home ownership, etc.)  I feel a little bit like I do in summer, sitting on a pool deck when the clouds are covering the sun yet the clouds are starting to move.  I know if I just be patient, relax for a little a while longer...eh, maybe even 20 or 30 more minutes longer, the clouds are going to move on. And when they do I will be much more content, able to enjoy clearer skies and the warm sun on my face.   

I'll Get to That...Eventually

Procrastination, why oh why is it thy middle name?  And really, I am not alone, am I?  I believe I am correct to believe that a large majority of Americans might be just like me. And to prove my point I will go and research a statistic on this topic...eventually.


Photo credit:  http://kateselvaratnam.wordpress.com/2011/04/26/procrastination-station/


Why oh why do you do it?  After giving it some thought I realize that my procrastination tendencies come down to habit and a moderate yet occasionally striking streak of laziness. I do not think it's a deep down personal sabotage issue and so far I have gotten through life pretty successfully battling the the "big p."  You see, I love to make lists and take great satisfaction in scratching things off as I complete them. However time and time again, one week's "to do" list morphs into the following week. The most dreaded or annoying of tasks get put off much longer than they should.  Sometimes, waaay longer than they should.

I wish I could say this blog entry will provide you with 5 quick and easy tips to stop procrastinating, but I bet you've read that type of article before. My main goal today is to urge you to think about why you procrastinate and motivate you to try to put some anti-procrastination tips back in play again. You know the ones-- do the worst thing first; turn your email off for a few hours each day to strictly "work"; grab a friend and make him go with you on the most irritating errands you have to do. Because lo and behold these techniques can actually work!

I have had a change in my professional life recently and this has allowed me more free time in some ways, less in other ways. With this change I decided that I was going to try altering some of my habits by knocking off nagging projects, tasks and errands in a much more timely manner.  Not only am I trying to do procrastinate less, but do a thorough job more, with the thought that the more complete of a job I do in the present, the less I'll have to think about it, fix it, or re-do it later.

So far my efforts really are working, certainly not every day but many days. And the moments I fight the urge to procrastinate what a boost of satisfaction I've thoroughly enjoyed.  I am quite sure the great leaders of business, government and religion in this world are not procrastinators. For some reason Martha Stewart comes to my mind. Do you think that lady has procrastinated a day in her life? One look at her monthly calendar really gives me a jolt (and makes me blast out a giggle/snort combo). This woman gets stuff done, as inane as that "stuff" might be to you and me.

And if the leaders, go-getters and movers-shakers of the world do have procrastination tendencies, I bet they are smart enough to have a staff member beat them with a stick to make sure they do the things they need to do. If you have an employee, co-worker or friend who you can trust to be your stick-beater, excellent. Bring them in on your quest to reduce procrastination in your world. Perhaps you can help each other. Speaking of help, I would love to see some of your best anti-procrastinating ideas, triumphs or failures, so feel free to comment below if you have them (or think about and come back later and post them. Just kidding, do it NOW!)

Time to Clean House

Forget about Spring, now is the time to clean house.  The clutter of the holiday season can be packed away, baggage from last year can be cleared out (or at least shoved to the attic) and we all should be spending time focusing in on the blank slate that is 2013.

What have you been doing in the last year for yourself or your company that has been positive? You know, those moments when you had that extra hop in your step and you felt like you were really "on to something." Jot a few of those projects or situations down somewhere and share them with your staff over lunch this week. How can you replicate that winning feeling more often?
 
But also be sure to think about the missteps.  You know, the cobwebs and dust balls that have been floating around for just way too long. I'm talking about your dated website or company logo that needs an overhaul; the networking group you never joined; the newsletter that can't seem to get written or that certain system you fall back on that is out of date and cumbersome to utilize. That kind of stuff.
There must be someone in your organization who can assist you and and serve as chief housekeeper. This person doesn't need to actually "do" all the jobs or create all the new ideas, he or she just needs to keep things on track... kind of like the cleaning person who comes into a private home every two weeks and does that thorough once over.

This person needs to be extremely conscientious and treat the goals of your business like they are his/her own. You don't have that person? If not, then you must hire that person or be sure you are truly doing the job yourself.  No one likes a dirty house.  Messy, OK, but the dust balls have to go.  Spring will be here before we know it.  

What's Your Story?

During this holiday season I've been privileged enough to listen to a lot of people's stories. I haven't felt like sharing my own as much  as usual so I've been trying to do more listening. I've heard funny stories, tales of wisdom, stories of heartbreak, longing, hilarity and even a little witchcraft. These stories, along with a business narrative I have been writing for a client, have pushed me to reflect on just how much impact stories shape  lives, livelihoods, companies, groups and family dynamics.  I have also noticed how contagious another person's story can be and how over time, another person's story can even merge into being one's own.

It really does not matter if the storyline is fact or fiction, if you believe it to be true, tell it out loud and ruminate on it enough in your mind, it becomes its own reality. I have tales in my head that I've referred to and turned over so many times that I have been sure they are actual.  But lately I've had the time and brain space to probe deeper and question some my personal and professional stories from a different perspective. I am realizing that perhaps I can freshen up my material, give my past and future plots a few new twists and turns.

What is the story of your life, your business or organization?  Have you been telling the same ones over and over again? Perhaps writing them down, then looking at them from a different angle or sharing them with someone new might give you a new take. Writing up a few new storylines couldn't hurt either... they will serve as aspirations for the New Year.